STARS SIGNS EXPOSED
LEO: supposed to be a lion and how many gazelles u killed in the last month? fake
AQUARIUS: oh, an “air sign” that is the “water bearer.” we all know ur a greedy double-signing bitch. also pottery isn’t hot anymore
CAPRICORN: goats eat garbage and guess what u do? u pay money for the garbage that u eat
ARIES: ur full of hot air it’s right in the name. go inflate a mattress or something
(via thatfunnyblog)
The Zodiac Signs as Food
Aries: Nachos.
Sometimes they bless your stomach with the most wonderful taste, other times this dish scorches your tongue with the burning rage of Hell itself.
Taurus: Beef Stew
With so many ingredients, vegetables, and meat chunks floating around, each spoonful has a little different taste to it. But each one leaves your belly warm and happy. Unless you eat it too fast— then your throat burns like a thousand suns.
Gemini: A two-tiered marble cake with whipped cream frosting.
Light and airy, but pure angelic gold on your tongue, this double-layered cake can make a grown man cry for more, but can topple over if you aren’t careful.
(via thatfunnyblog)
“People say ‘I’m not like anyone you’ve met before.’
I say ‘I am not anyone you’ve met before.’”
(via getyourdayslaugh)
